How to Tell Your Friends and Family You’re Eloping

Filed in elopements, Intimate weddings — December 14, 2020


Here’s the thing – people love weddings. And with that comes the fact that they love to give out their (often unsolicited) opinions about weddings! You probably noticed that as soon as you got engaged, you started hearing from distant cousins who want an invite, friends that demand a plus one, grandmothers who want to help pick out your dress….


While we love our friends and family, it can be exhausting dealing with all the opinions and advice – so you might struggle with how to tell your friends and family you’re eloping. Should you tell them in advance? Keep it a secret until the knot is tied? Tell them in passing? Do a big reveal?


It can be stressful telling your loved ones that you’ve decided to elope, but remember that this day is about you! If your decision feels right to you, that’s all that matters – but elopements are a fairly new concept, so people may not understand. Here are my tips to break the news to your loved ones!

When Should You Tell Your Family and Friends You’re Eloping?

Some couples choose to tell their family and friends before the elopement, while others keep it a secret until after the deed is done.


If you tell people before you elope, you open yourself up to unsolicited opinions. But, telling people ahead of time can also give you the opportunity to include your loved ones in the planning process.


I recommend choosing a few people to let in on the plan before you elope. Make sure that these people know how to keep a secret, and that they’ll be supportive of your plans! Planning even a small ceremony can get pretty stressful, and it’ll be nice to have some people to help you along the way, even if they aren’t invited to the ceremony.

A couple walks in a meadow during their Utah adventure elopement

Tips for Breaking the News

My first tip is to keep in mind that this is your day! Weddings have somehow become about pleasing everyone else and throwing the biggest party, but isn’t this supposed to be about the two of you? Isn’t this supposed to be the best day of your life? Shouldn’t your wedding day be about what truly makes you happy?


Even if your friends and family don’t understand, don’t feel bad! This is your decision, and if it feels right to you, you’re doing the right thing. Here are some tips to make breaking the news go a little more smoothly.


Tell Them in Person

Face to face is best, but if that’s not an option, Facetime to Facetime works too! Telling your friends and family you’re eloping in person will go over better, because they’ll get to see and hear how excited you are. They’ll get the opportunity to ask questions, and you’ll get the opportunity to explain why you’re doing this.


Share Your Plans

When you tell your friends and family you’re eloping, tell them a little bit about what you have planned! Even if you don’t have anything set in stone, explain to them why you’ve decided to elope. Most people just aren’t familiar with elopements, so when you tell them the news, they might envision rhinestone studded chapels and the Vegas strip. Explaining that eloping is so much more than that, and telling them about the incredible scenery you’ll see and the adventures you’ll have will help your loved ones understand!


Include Them in Planning

Even those who aren’t invited to the ceremony can have a part in the elopement! You can invite a few friends to go dress shopping, ask your family members for advice, and tell them about your decisions as your elopement plans come together. They’ll feel your excitement and anticipation, and will love helping out.

Elopement Announcements – After the Elopement

If you decide to wait to tell your friends and family until after the elopement, or you choose just a few people to talk to, here are some ways to make the announcement after you’ve tied the knot!


Announcement Cards

Like a save-the-date, but backwards! You can print cards with your incredible elopement photos, and mail announcements to, well, announce the news!


Call from the Ceremony

Imagine facetime your family from the top of a mountain, wearing a wedding dress! Telling them about the news as it’s happening can be a lot of fun, and the looks of surprise are bound to be memorable.


Share Your Photos

Whether you send the gallery to your friends and family, or you post your photos to social media, seeing the photos will make your loved ones happy – they’ll see how happy you are, how much fun you had, and how beautiful your elopement was!


Plan a Party

If you want a private ceremony, but still want to throw a party, you can have the best of both worlds! You can plan a reception for your loved ones, and celebrate with everyone after the knot is tied.

Not Sure if Eloping is Right for You?

Family pressure is one of the main reasons that couples often end up planning a big, traditional wedding that they aren’t stoked on. If you feel like you might want to elope, but aren’t sure, take some time! Think about it, think about what’s important to you, and what would make you happiest.


In the meantime, check out this blog post about what it means to elope, and if you need some advice (or someone to tell you that heck yeah, you can), contact me!